Thought of the Day

What does Harry Belafonte like on his egg salad sandwich? MAY-O! MAAAY-O!

Thought of the Day

I don’t think I could handle being the Pope. Oh, I wouldn’t mind celebrating Mass, and spreading the word of God and all that. I’d just hate having to take off eight layers before I could take a dump.

Thought of the Day

I think anyone wearing socks and sandals is just trying to tell the world, “I’m not really concerned with getting laid.”

Thought of the Day

I thought about stopping to pick up a hitchhiker once. But then I thought, what if the guy’s just trying to tell me he likes my driving?

Thought of the Day

I often wonder if the guy who invented Crazy Glue actually had a serious mental illness.

Thought of the Day

I’m sure I could win a gold medal – if the Olympics ever added an event for channel surfing.

Thought of the Day

My cousin Phil has always been crazy about club sandwiches. You might think that’s no big deal – but Phil’s kids would beg to differ. He named them “Bacon,” “Lettuce” and “Tomato.”

Thought of the Day

I wonder if male ladybugs ever question their masculinity.

Thought of the Day

Kyle Dubas – the general manager of the Toronto Maple Leafs – is always looking for ways to improve his team on the ice. And I guess he must take that same approach at home. I just read he traded his wife for future considerations.

Thought of the Day

There was a pretty slim turnout at our book club meeting this month. In retrospect, maybe we should’ve given it a little more thought before we went and picked The Suicide Diaries.