Thought of the Day

I have this little chickadee that keeps tapping on my window every morning. So I finally went to see what all the noise was about. He just wanted to tell me that my bird seed is crap.

Thought of the Day

I was reading that some guy just discovered Amelia Earhart’s plane after it disappeared over the Pacific 87 years ago. I’ll have to give him a call and see if he can help me find my car keys.

Thought of the Day

I think the schools are taking things a little too far when it comes to banning books. I hear one school board in Alabama just banned Dr. Seuss’s Green Eggs and Ham. Apparently they thought the green eggs and ham were getting too familiar with one another.

Thought of the Day

If at first you don’t succeed, you don’t succeed.

Thought of the Day

I went to Switzerland for vacation once but it took me forever to get anywhere. All the drivers were stuck in neutral.

Thought of the Day

I don’t know about you. But if I bought some breakfast cereal, and it started going “Snap! Crackle! Pop!” I’d break out the fire extinguisher.

Thought of the Day

For years now, scientists have been saying it was a giant meteor that wiped out the dinosaurs. If you ask me, I think it was their refusal to switch to decaf.

Thought of the Day

I often wonder if any plainclothes police officers have been fired for wearing lime green chinos.