Thought of the Day

I tried working at a trailer park one summer – but quit after a few weeks. I just couldn’t handle all those “Coming Soons."

Thought of the Day

I often wonder if you should call the authorities if you’ve lost your inner child.

Thought of the Day

I think if Abraham Lincoln were still alive today, he’d have a hard time trying to get his own sitcom.

Thought of the Day

I was just reading that a 92-year-old couple in New Haven, Connecticut decided to get a divorce after nearly 75 years of marriage. I guess they were going to get a divorce much sooner but they wanted to wait until their children were dead.

Thought of the Day

My Uncle Sid went to the doctor’s one time, and the doctor told him that he needed to get more iron. I guess that’s about the time my uncle started investing in steam shovels.

Thought of the Day

If you were a cannibal, and you got stranded on a deserted island, I wonder how long it would take before you started eating yourself.

Thought of the Day

I think it’s sad when trees start to lose all their leaves in the fall. I wonder if they’ve ever considered using Rogaine.

Thought of the Day

My neighbour’s been having a lot of trouble with raccoons over at his place. They’re not getting into his garbage or anything. They just won’t stop making all those long distance phone calls.

Thought of the Day

 I joined a debating society once but we could never agree on a place to meet.