scene: Close up of Captain Caribou talking
intently to himself. A car can be heard racing its engine.
captain:
There’s no doubt about it, fellows… Someone has to be after Justin Bieber’s
millions. But how did they get close to him without attracting attention? (The
car sounds get louder.) And who could be behind such a dastardly plot? (The
car engine gets much louder and erratic.) If only we could– (shouts)
Will you turn that PlayStation off?? (Reveal that they’re actually in their
secret headquarters.)
hat trick:
But I’ve got a high score now! (Pause. He turns his game off.) Oh, all
right…
captain:
Three days. Three days on this Bieber case and we’ve got nothing!
hat trick:
Uh. Guess it would help if actually went to Red Deer.
captain:
Man—that’s
the last time I buy a car from Costa Rica. For God’s sake… Where’s Maple Boy?
hat trick:
Still working on that transmission, Cap. Why don’t we check the crime scanner
again?
captain:
Good idea. (They go to the other side of the room.) What’ve you got
there, Snowman?
snowman:
(scraping spoon on bowl) Neapolitan…want some?
captain:
No! I meant on the crime scanner!
snowman:
Oh. Sorry… (He begins typing at his computer console.) Oh, oh. We’ve got
big trouble, guys…
hat trick:
What? Is One Direction getting back together?
snowman:
Worse than that—look!
captain:
(reads) Dozens of classic artists vanish from Rock & Roll Hall of
Fame gala…
snowman:
Neil Young… Trooper… Loverboy… They’re disappearing faster than a two-four at a
toga party. They even got BTO…
hat trick:
Oh my God! Who’s gonna take care of business?
captain:
Guys, this is serious. Someone’s trying to cripple the music industry. Question is…what do all these people have in common?
snowman:
Mullets?
captain:
Besides that.
hat trick:
They’re all Canucks! Someone’s got a mad on for the CanCon.
captain:
Right! Now if we only knew who’s next in line, we could stop who’s behind all
this…
hat trick:
Have they got Bryan Adams yet?
snowman:
No…
hat trick:
Damn.
snowman: I heard he’s supposed to be promoting his new album at The Slipped Disc next
week…
hat trick:
Well, we have to start somewhere.
captain:
Perfect! Let’s go down there and check it out. Is that car going to–
hat trick:
Not the way Maple Boy’s going, Cap.
captain:
Hmm... All right. It’s time for Plan B! Get your passes ready, boys... We’re
heading for the bus stop.
(Dramatic music. Fade out.)
