I guess you heard all about the death of one-time Eight Is
Enough star Adam Rich. I wasn’t too broke up about it myself. I was just
disappointed it wasn’t Willie Ames.
Wednesday, February 22, 2023
Tuesday, February 21, 2023
Friday, February 17, 2023
Thought of the Day
I hear Spiderman
just got arrested for sexual assault. Apparently it wasn’t just his
Spider-Sense that was tingling.
Thursday, February 16, 2023
Thought of the Day
When you take
swimming lessons, there are only two types of student. Star pupil and body at
the bottom of the pool.
Wednesday, February 15, 2023
Thought of the Day
If Stevie Wonder
was taking his driver’s test, and the examiner asked him to check his blind
spot, how would he know where to look?
Tuesday, February 14, 2023
Thought of the Day
People always carry a rabbit’s foot around with them for
good luck. But I hardly think that’s good luck for the rabbit.
Monday, February 13, 2023
Thought of the Day
I was at a party the
other day and ended up talking to a laughing hyena. I tried telling him a few
jokes but couldn’t even get a smile out of him. “How come you’re not laughing?”
I asked. He just went back to drinking his Fresca. “It’s my day off,” he said.
Friday, February 3, 2023
Thursday, February 2, 2023
Thought of the Day
I’m not allergic to peanut butter. But I am allergic to
jam. I’ve got an EpiPen just for
boysenberry.
Wednesday, February 1, 2023
Thought of the Day
They say that drinking coffee is a good way to stunt your
growth. I can think of an even better way. Cyanide.
Tuesday, January 31, 2023
Thought of the Day
You’re supposed to make a
wish when you blow out the candles on your birthday cake. My wish actually came
true once! I wished that everyone at the table would catch influenza.
Monday, January 30, 2023
Thought of the Day
I was reading that a
29-year-old woman has been charged for posing as a teenager at a New Jersey
high school. I don’t know what kind of jail time she’s looking at. But I’d
think going to high school would be punishment enough.
Friday, January 27, 2023
Thought of the Day
Back in my car selling days, one of my first customers was
a circus clown. This guy had his heart set on a little green coupe we had on
the lot. I tried my damnedest to upsell him from a two-door to a nice four-door
sedan. But he wasn’t interested. All he really wanted was a little legroom for
his wife. And his 38 friends.
Thursday, January 26, 2023
Thought of the Day
I’ve always wondered why
Hershey’s called its candy bar – Almond Joy. I guess “Almond Louise” just
didn’t catch on.
Wednesday, January 25, 2023
Thought of the Day
I don’t understand why
it’s such a big deal to be associated with the Communist Party. I love a party
as much as the next guy.
Tuesday, January 24, 2023
Thought of the Day
I just read a new study that says 70% of husbands feel they’re getting
enough sex. Unfortunately, 65% of wives wonder why their husbands keep getting
calls from a girl named “Ruby.”
Monday, January 23, 2023
Thought of the Day
I went to the zoo the other day to check out some of the
world’s most endangered creatures. And I must've spent an hour waiting to see the
most popular exhibit. It’s a guy who still has iPhone 7.
Friday, January 20, 2023
Thought of the Day
If we use ranch dressing in the city, what kind of
dressing do they use out in the country?
Thursday, January 19, 2023
Thought of the Day
My great-uncle Eugene was a real visionary. You might not
have heard his name before. But he was the first man to use chicken wire to
fence in goats.
Wednesday, January 18, 2023
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