Thought of the Day

I often wonder if Popeye is strong to the Finnish.

Thought of the Day

I was reading that Jimi Hendrix always loved to set his guitar on fire when he was playing live. I guess that would explain all those songs he wrote about asbestos.

Thought of the Day

My cousin Fred just installed a new sunroof at his place. It took him about three weeks to build – and it really looks great. But I guess his upstairs neighbours aren’t too crazy about it.

Thought of the Day

I often wonder what’s going to happen at Dairy Queen when she finally abdicates the throne.

Thought of the Day

My grandmother just celebrated their 90th birthday last week. But when you get to be that age, it’s not a big deal anymore. For her birthday, all my grandmother wanted was a box of Arm & Hammer Baking Soda.

Thought of the Day

I can’t say I’ve met Cedric the Entertainer before. But I have met Cedric the Chiropodist.

Thought of the Day

I was just reading that the crew of NASA’s Artemis II decided to turn around and abort their mission to the Moon. It’s not that their spacecraft was experiencing a sudden malfunction or anything. They were just having a hard time finding a decent Taco Bell.

Thought of the Day

I was sorry to hear Tiger Woods got into another car accident the other day. Luckily, the police determined Tiger wasn’t driving under the influence. He was just too busy singing along to Beyonce.

Thought of the Day

When I was growing up, my mother didn’t believe in corporal punishment. She’d just stare at us and go back to dusting all the animals she’d killed on safari.

Thought of the Day

I was reading that the early sailors would often spot mermaids lying on the beach – but they were really just sea lions. I guess that’s why the sea lions would always sue them for child support.

Thought of the Day

I often wonder what strippers wear to work on dress-down day.